February 29, 2004

Beware of Change

Guess who juust registered one of our proposed URL's (blogforchange.com)?

Well, I guess these guys heve eyes everywhere - and are trying to corner the market on "change".

Maybe they will let us have almostchange.com.

Posted by Squatch at 12:09 PM | Comments (417) | TrackBack

February 28, 2004

Dude, WTF is my Intellgence Agency Doing?

I pay taxes. You pay taxes. Even Andrew Skilling, Kenneth Lay, Dennis Kozlowski and those bastards at Adepphia pay taxes. Well, not as much as they should have, but that's not the point. They're off to minimum security country club jails where the punishment is you have to carry your own clubs at the golf course. I truly feel for those men.

Oh yeah, the point of my post. An open letter to the Central Intelligence Agency:

Dear Tax Payer Funded Agency,

What is this you are doing now? You spied on the UN-Inspectors in Iraq? The UK did too? Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of liberalist conspiracy? You spied on Hans Blix?

Let me get this straight. You spied on him when he was in Iraq, but you failed to actually spy on anything going on in Iraq? Are you retarded? Do 6-Year olds with speech impediments and bed-wetting problems work for you?


I hate you. I'm withholding my taxes so that you don't get anymore money. What is the point of you? Yes, you inspire cool movies, but seriously, stop being such a waste of goddamn money.

Then again, all the money we've spent has done some pretty sweet things. Some say bad things about the CIA>

Others poignantly point out that the CIA and Saddam used to be bedfellows:

During the 1960s, Saddam was a leading and brutal participant in the C.I.A.-sponsored activities of the authoritarian, anti-Communist Baath Party. That party butchered untold numbers of leftists and suspected leftists.

Ahh...the anti-Communist CIA...thanks for the memories. Hey Saddam, thanks for everything you've done too!

But not all is lost. At leats our government is still paying for faulty intelligence!

CIA and DOD, what do they spell? Ciddoad...which is Arabic for Sham Agencies that thrive on the President's invocation of fear amongst the people who pay for them, all in the hopes of serving the multinational business establishment and the corrupt leaders that lead them. Really.

Yeah dude, and Cheney is such a Dick too.



Posted by E at 12:47 PM | Comments (481) | TrackBack

Will we NEVER learn?

The list of immoral CIA supported coups grows. Democracy Now has a special report, Haiti in Crisis.

The FARG, a CIA trained bunch of murderers and thugs are trying to overthrow a democratically elected government. It appears that Venezuela, the only other Popularly elected Democratic Gvt in the region, has decided to send in troops to Haiti. This seems to be "forcing the US's hand" and we are finally sending in a few more marines. Ironic, considering the CIA tried to overthrow the democratically elected President Hugo Chavez in Venezuela only a few months ago.

In order to support democracy, we must stop this Coup. Aristide is not perfect, but he is democratically elected. Haiti has experienced 32 Coups in the past 100 years. Allowing #33 will derail the fostering of democracy in the region.

Posted by flood at 11:43 AM | Comments (192) | TrackBack

February 27, 2004

Open Thread: Domain Names for this site


Comment or add your own....

Posted by flood at 08:21 PM | Comments (141) | TrackBack

Not a good month to be named Howard

Man, this week has been almost as bad for me as it was for these guys.

First Ho-Ho steps away from the mic. Next the King of All Media has his dominion reduced. WTF?

I never gave a shit about Janet Jackson, but now her little stunt has given the whackos in DC just the momentum they need to start scaring the bean-counters into pulling show like Stern's.

Howard Stern's show is entertaining. I listen to it every morning - well, almost. Sometimes, I turn the radio off, because it is too much. But that's my prerogative, not Michael Powell's

And there's more. From Stern's mouth himself:

"This regime--and I will now call it a regime--has gotten absolutely bizarre. Between Aschroft and Cheney ... and their puppet Bush and Powell and his son [FCC chairman Michael Powell], I mean, this has gone berserk. I mean, I'll be off the air, and I won't be able to talk to you about it anymore, but, listen, it's bad. This is the most unbelievable thing, what's going on, where people are being thrown off the air without a trial."

Stern seemed intent on making the most of however much time he has left to broadcast, telling his listeners: "These fascist, right-wing a-holes are getting so much freaking power, you gotta take back the country. [Those are] my last words to you. I don't know how many more days I have [left] on the air."

Too bad it took Stern finally "getting it" to get it.

Posted by Squatch at 07:17 PM | Comments (176) | TrackBack

Gay Marriage Warning

Posted by E at 05:57 PM | Comments (254) | TrackBack

Tub Size Spangled Banner

Well, the airlines have finally had enough. We're fat. Fat as all hell. Its getting gross out there. Why are we so big? French and Italians eat food that is bad for them and smoke. I mean, even the Chef's are hot!

What we have in America is an epidemic of lazy people. Children fed McDonalds all day and thrown in front of the TV. Its our children we should worry about.

Overweight in children and adolescents is generally caused by lack of physical activity, unhealthy eating patterns, or a combination of the two, with genetics and lifestyle both playing important roles in determining a child's weight.

Face it, we are fat and unless we get off of our asses. We are going to all look like this someday.

Posted by E at 03:35 PM | Comments (178) | TrackBack

February 26, 2004

The Sweet Smell of Censorship

Ahh, when media conglomerates make decisions for us. In the wake of the Janet Jackson "Breastgate", ClearChannel, the nation's largest radio station owner, has censored the King of Media himself.


Who is ClearChannel?

What do you care if a company owns everything?

What are you talking about you liberal scum?

Why, take a look right here!

Today the rules of media ownership that spawned Clear Channel have been further loosened. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC), which is led by Michael Powell, none other than the son of United States secretary of state, Colin Powell, voted in June to allow companies to buy more television stations and own newspapers as well as broadcast outlets in the same city.

Very interesting article. I remember reading about ClearChannel's battle with KMEL Radio Station in the SFBAY Guardian some time ago. Take a look at the bottom of billboards, especially in San Francisco, just about all of them are owned by ClearChannel. Its pretty scary to think that one company can control what we hear, watch and see while we drive.

ClearChannel, another Bush supporting corporation, displayed a unique ability to not present the truth. Strange that a Media company would ever do that, but alas, ClearChannel is not your ordinary Media company
(You aren't gonna believe where I found that article)

Howard Stern has responded, saying:

"I told you it would come down to me," Stern said. "This regime has gotten absolutely bizarre between Ashcroft, Cheney, Bush, Powell and his son. This is the most unbelievable thing when people can be thrown off air without a trial. The fascist, right wing a-holes are taking over the country."

Certainly looks like the Bush Administration has been shutting people up. ClearChannel is definately obliging.

Maybe Stern will help us in our quest to rid the country of our "leader"



Posted by E at 01:55 PM | Comments (238) | TrackBack

Except for Homos

Posted by flood at 01:36 PM | Comments (259) | TrackBack

My main man JC

That's right, the Passions of the Christ opened yesterday and all of the religious bru-ha-ha opened along with it. Many people don't know that originally, he was named Seth from Nazareth, but since he was going to be Hollywood, he wanted his name to sound less Jewish.

But seriously:


Ok, ok I'll pretend I'm busy.

On a serious note, the commercialization of the Christian Savior has gotten way out of hand.

We need to ask serious questions of the man many believe to be the son of God.

Alright, enough of this. The film debuted yesterday and I went to the movie theatre. No, not to see the movie but to see 50 First Dates . Probably a much more uplifting movie than what the venerable Roger Ebert describes he saw in POC:

The movie is 126 minutes long, and I would guess that at least 100 of those minutes, maybe more, are concerned specifically and graphically with the details of the torture and death of Jesus. This is the most violent film I have ever seen.

A Mel Gibson movie violent? Really? Payback was about families reconciling their differences and then Mel Gibson killing like 30 people, wasnt' it?

Newsweek ran a cover (the article isn't available online) last week and asked the poignant question:

Who Really Killed Jesus?


Colonel Mustard in the Study with the Candlestick

The letters that people have written about the hype and hoopla of this movie ire fantastic. A sample of some of the better ones below:

As long as there are Christians like Mel Gibson who focus their energies on Jesus' suffering and death, instead of on his life and teachings, there will always be Christian anti-Semitism and a need to assign guilt to someone. Only when Christians learn to "turn the other cheek," "love thy neighbor as thyself" and "forgive thine enemies" can they truly say they are followers of Jesus.
In an age when the "scariest" and most polarizing thing in America is a seconds-long flash of bare breast on television, I find it upsetting that religious leaders are wasting so much time on Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ." Are Americans really so closed-minded today that they are afraid people will accept one man's artistic impression as a representation of reality? I would like to think, were I a Christian or Jew, that my faith would be strong enough not to be threatened by a film or painting. But the furor and offense over "The Passion," a film, as I write this, not even yet released, says otherwise about the nature of people. Religion is the one aspect of society that refuses to evolve, clinging in fright to its ancient superstitions and archaic antifeminist stereotypes, wearing its millenniums-old inflexibility and adherence to tradition above all as a badge of honor. But institutions must change as the needs of people change over time; perhaps religious leaders should wrangle with the question of what is important about being religious and stop being so touchy about what other people think.
Mel Gibson ought to send a bouquet of flowers to the Anti-Defamation League as a thank-you for helping to turn his doomed-to-failure, Aramaic and Latin, anti-Jewish, Bible movie into a social phenomenon that made the cover of NEWSWEEK. Now millions of people who would have ignored the movie will rush out to see what the fuss is all about. The ADL did a disservice to the Jewish community that they pretend to protect.
How do Jon Meacham (the author of the piece in Newsweek) and the scholars he cites know that the account of "The Passion" did not occur as Mel Gibson portrays it? Were they there? Surely it is better to go by the accounts of the people who were there as written in the New Testament.

My personal favorite:

I find it hard to believe that anyone would trust Mel Gibson to produce a truly accurate portrayal of the last hours of Jesus Christ. Here is a man who says he attends mass every morning—only to turn around and make violent films like "Lethal Weapon 4" and "The Patriot," which glorify the violence that he so condemns in "The Passion." Thanks, but I'd rather take lessons in history and morality elsewhere.

Is anyone who was "there" still alive? Writing wasn't invented until much later, the story of Jesus survived because of his apostles and what they decided to say about him. People are all crazy because Mel Gibson says this is the exact story of Jesus. Since when is Mel Gibson an authority on anything but how to pretend like you are smart when you are really just a fading Hollywood actor. Chill out ADL, chill out religious-right...its a movie. Did anyone get this upset when Dude Where's My Car? came out?

I know I sure did. I hated the way that movie made fun of stupid people. They have rights you know. Like voting Republican and "vacationing" to Branson MO.



Posted by E at 11:06 AM | Comments (894) | TrackBack

February 25, 2004

Hate-E or Haiti?

Ok, so let me get this straight.

Bush will deny Haitian refugees from a country whose government we support?

Yet, our policy has always been to accept Cuban refugees wishing to live in the US. Those who came over after Bautista fell in 1959 were organized and mobilized by the CIA in the 60's to help overthrow or assasinate Castro. Bay of Pigs? Disaster.

Is this staunchly anti-Communist just-for-the-sake-of-a-grudge-against-Castro-for-45 years really necessary anymore?


The Cuban community in Miami has tremendous clout (many of these businessmen worked with current Govenor Jeb Bush on scandalous real estate deals in the 80's) and will continue to voice their disconent of a revloution that happened 45 years ago.

Its a shame that our racist policy (Bautista refugees were all mestizo or white descendants of the Spanish Conquistadors. Yes, those same Conquistadors who raped and killed their way to taking over the "New Word" so many years ago) does not allow for the "Compassionate Conservative" government of the US to allow refugees of a country in turmoil. Accepting poor, blacks with nothing to offer us politically is not a priority of the Bush Administration.

To be fair and balanced, I must also say that the policy of Hatian refugees during the Clinton administration was not much better.

As we will watch the violence unfold in Haiti, think of our policy towards Cuba and that to Haiti and think..."we can't even stabilize the region in our own back yard...what makes us think we can do it 10K miles away",



Posted by E at 01:13 PM | Comments (975) | TrackBack

Morning News: did 3 primaries happen or did I dream that?

What's going on? No one has info on the primaries that went on last night. Utah and Hawaii and the Idaho Caucuses I think? No major media outlets cares?

I guess everyone is just waiting for Super Tuesday. But still, the NY times has this photo:

on it's front page but no mention of 3 frikin primaries! At least that wrestler guy has an American Flag on his ankle. God Bless!

I can't even find any blog entries on the primaries last night. I got some info on one of the best news sources around -- the radio. God I love the radio. Someone buy me XM, please?

Here's the roundup I got:
Kerry won all three states
Kucinich came in 2nd in Hawaii! That means he beat Edward.
The media is getting a little skeptical about Edwards... if he doesn't come through on super Tuesday I think he's toast.

Posted by flood at 11:57 AM | Comments (456) | TrackBack

Degreadation of Church and State

The most overtly religious leader in the history of our country, George W. Bush has given new meaning to the phrase "Conflict of Interest". Is he really that bad?

His most firery speech on subject was the one ten days after 9/11. This is the one with the most imagery of God, moral authority and Bush's classic "Axis of Evil".

John Ashcroft, the Attorney General of the United States, head of the Justice Department, a religious-right lifer, is truly scary.
This is the same guy who lost an election to someone who wasn't living.

A few more fun facts about Ashcroft:

Ashcroft is noted for having taken offense to the half-naked statues of Liberty and Justice in a meeting room where he often met the press. He ordered them covered with multi-thousand-dollar curtains; it has been said that this action was taken because he felt reporters were photographing the statues to make fun of his church's opposition to pornography.
Ashcroft is considered a leading member of the Christian right wing of the Republican party and is one of the highest-ranking representatives of the group in the Bush Administration. As a devout Pentecostalist, he shuns such activities as dancing and alcohol consumption. Ashcroft's religious beliefs have led commentators, including Senator Charles Schumer, to question whether he could effectively enforce certain laws, especially those pertaining to abortion.

No Dancing? Then how does he compete in the Annual White House Talent Show Fund Raiser for Corporatizaiton of the Government?

He also came up with the certainly non-Orwellian Operation TIPS. Wow, what Freedom loving society could pass that up?

It is clear that Ashcroft is not a good person to be enforcing the nations laws. Maybe we need someone better, maybe Ahhnold would make a good Attorney General?

In closing, religion is never good when it morphs into fundamentalism. I think that is what is going on here. When you start to think subjectively when you are leading this country...the transformaiton to the opposite of Democracy has already begun:

Fascism should rightly be called Corporatism as it is a merge of state and corporate power

- Benito Mussolini.



Posted by E at 10:00 AM | Comments (256) | TrackBack

February 24, 2004

Gods, Guns and Google

Oceana is a non-profit, international advocacy organization dedicated to restoring and protecting the world's oceans through policy advocacy, science, law and public education.

Even though the organization's board includes Frasier and James Bond, the resident know-it-all on the net wouldn't take their money.

Oceana recently tried to buy an AdWords placement for a campaign against alleged practices by Carnival Cruise Line that harm the environment. They didn’t have much luck.

Let's flip it around:

While they will list gun related websites in their search results, they won't accept advertising from gun related business - OF ANY KIND. So what's the problem? For gun owners, the problem is their search engine is widely used to find products, articles or information gun owners are interested in. Google is actively engaged in making sure you don't see advertisers that just might have that particular product or information you wanted - if you're a gun related business that is.

Hey – I’m not going to shed any tears from me because Google won't advertise full-auto conversion kits to Militiamorons in the Ozarks.

But seriously, this raises a legitimate point. What is a fair ad policy for a site such as Google to have? While I agree that the policy is theirs alone to determine, it would be responsible for Google to disclose the specific policies it abides by.

A brief look at Google AdWords Editorial Guidelines provides the following ambiguous category:

Maintain Google Standards
As a business, Google must make decisions about where we draw the line in regards to the advertising we accept, both from a legal and company values perspective. We, therefore, may not accept ad text, ads, or keywords containing or relating to certain products or services. We reserve the right to exercise editorial discretion when it comes to the advertising we accept on our site, as noted in our advertising terms and conditions. Please note that the decisions we make concerning advertising in no way affect the search results we deliver.

Certain products or services? How about, say, Political Campaigns?

Let’s be clear. Google used to run political ads. My source on the Web team there told me that at one time www.deanforamerica.com got the majority of their web traffic from AdWords referrals. Then one day, Google stopped the posting the DfA ads, while continuing to post ads from competitors. While Joe thinks it was because DfA started criticizing Bush in the content, Google never could offer any specific explanation. Once the problem had been escalated to upper management, the service resumed.

Now there aren’t any Presidential Campaign AdWords ads.


Well, maybe one: PETA’s cartoon candidate, Chris Carrot. More on him later.

Political AdWords are hard to find. The closest I could find were “anti-war” and “right to life.” (please comment with any searches that are more fruitful).

What happened?

Well, hmmm, how about the three magic letters of yore?

Google works as a commercial enterprise because of the advertisements it places. In this sense, it’s a “smart” catalog. A search for DisneyWorld gives all sorts of packages and discounts. Search for flowers, health insurance, baseball cards and almost anything else and you get a similarly extensive arrange of related products.

But let’s say Chris Carrot wanted to warn you about the cruel practices of producing fur coats every time you searched for them? Not going to happen. You can take that analogy to a variety of other examples, but it all boils down to the fact that the efficacy of “smart” ads can be used for much more than product placement.

Google is shying away from an opportunity to become even greater than it already is. Companies don’t decide to buy AdWords based on the presence of competing advertisements – yet. Google’s PageRank system yields search results that draw millions of visitors a day. Pile on top of this a targeted and non-invasive presentation and you’ve got a great means of advertising. If Google allowed the responsible display of critical or opposing viewpoints to be marked as “paid advertising” in the search results, the companies being criticized wouldn’t stop buying ads – they’d buy more to compete.

I’m not proposing a mud-slinging war here. AdWords are less than 20 words in length – just enough to make one point. And Google does require that all claims be substantiated in another clause from the Editorial Guidelines:

Support Competitive Claims If your ad text contains comparative language regarding competitors, support for this claim must be displayed on the landing page for your AdWords ad.

Easily adapted, right?

As Google becomes more and more powerful as a search tool for things other than products like Carribean Cruise lines, they should embrace the opportunity to become a powerful disseminator of Information – not just Vacation Packages.

Posted by Squatch at 09:45 PM | Comments (357) | TrackBack

What Sanctity of Marriage?

Well team, it looks as though Gerge Beelzebub Bush is going to make his mark in the domestic front, not by funding work projects, helping schools, but by preventing acceptance of people with differences. Yes, its the issue that divides the country. Gay Marriage

"He has always strongly believed that marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman," White House press secretary Scott McClellan said.

Sacred? With 50% of couples getting divorced and childhood turmoil for thousands of young kids, what is so sacred about marriage? Many people get married too early, too quickly or for the wrong reasons, not letting Homosexual's endure the pain and strain of marriage is what is truly unconstitutional and discriminatory.

This issue will no doubt polarize the country. And, if this message board is any indication, will cause some strong feelings either way.

I think that if you define marriage as a union between a man and a woman you must also define:
corruption as companies buying favors from politicians
war as something done only as a last resort, instead of first choice
desertion as leaving service when your contract isn't done
No Child Left Behind as not letting children flunk their now mandatory testing
Evil as The Bush Administration

Its consistency people, simple as that.
Gay marriage will continue to polarize the country until people who are ignorant and prejudiced actually meet gay people. To call Homosexuality a sin is like calling Cricket not a sport. Just cuz you've never seen it, or been around people who play it, does that make it not a legitimate form of competition?

E: Do you know why many of the men that work as flight attendants are gay?
Ignorant Person: Oh, I know, its cuz they are startin' that new T.V. show, Queer Eye for the Fly Guy!
E: No, its because airlines don't have to pay benefits to people who are not married. Hiring gay men absolves them of paying any sort of benefits. Now, some companies have domestic partner benefits, but if they were married, they would get benefits from everyone.
Ignorant Person: Wut? They shouldn't get benefits. I am better than them because I prefer women. I should demonstrate false moral authority over them because they are different than me.
E: Shut up and go home conservative. You've got everything you want, lets leave our "moral authority" at home. I think your prez threw it out the window when he attacked a country for no reason.
Ignorant Person: OK

Gay marriage will eventually become a reality, becuase not even George W. himself can hide behind the flag and bible forever. Change will come in time, however, if there is a constitutional ammendment and it does somehow pass both houses, I will be very shocked. You can't fight progress, be it technologically or morally.

Since when does Bush get to decide about our "fundamental institutions"? How about the institution of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Doesn't it say that somewhere?

He goes on to say:

"We should also conduct this difficult debate in a matter worthy of our country, without bitterness or anger. In all that lies ahead, let us match strong convictions with kindness and good will and decency."

How is preventing people who have no effect on your life from doing something they want and should be able to do, decent in any way?

The fact that Bush wavered (when, except in cases of war, does he not waver) on weather or not to go ahead with his decision to back the ammendment, shows his desparation in getting more (now disenfranchied because of his spending spree) religious right votes. Stop him, and stop prejudice, please.



Posted by E at 10:07 AM | Comments (941) | TrackBack

February 23, 2004

Kos Endorses Dean Edwards

Looks like Edwards has another endorsement. Kos runs one of the more active blogs on the 'Net, was a paid consultant for Dean and has a diverse and mature readership. He's also a smart tack and sums up a good aspect of the Kerry/Edwards comparison:

And as I look at the two remaining candidates, Edwards seems the best bet. It's the difference between Bob Dole and George W. Bush. One symbolized the GOP's past, the other the future.

I like how he writes to in quotable sentences. It's the new "soundbite."

I agree with Kos. Edwards will get my VT Primary Vote.

Another nugget:

I want something else. I want someone who symbolizes the future of our party. Someone whose rhetoric inspires, rather than bores. Someone who has run a positive campaign worthy of praise, rather than someone who has used slash and burn campaign tactics against members of his own party. Someone who people actually like, rather than support for some bizarre notion of "electability".


Posted by Squatch at 10:11 PM | Comments (1270) | TrackBack


For those who don't know:


A just released story. Rod Paige was the superintendent of Houston area public schools, which, not unlike prison have got to be shitty, unless you live in a suburb and daddy drives a hummer. (Just like Roger Clemens, who is an asshole and has got to be a republican.

I love the way conservatives and evil shithead motherfuckers blame unions for problems. Teachers Unions? Give me a break. Its like,

"Dude, Teachers are Terrorists? Remember that bitch of a Librarian that cought me reading sex-ed books before I was ready? Yeah, she was sooooooo a member of the SLA and shit."

Aren't teachers supposed to be good? And more importantly, isn't the fucking EDUCATION SECRETARY supposed to support teachers instead of writing and implementing the EVERY CHILD LEFT IN A DITCH TO WHITHER AND DIE SO THAT PRIVATE TESTING COMPANIES CAN MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS THAT SHOULD BE USED TO FUND STRUGGLING SCHOOL DISTRICTS Plan?

Seriously, the plan is fucked up.

And still seriously, Bush is a corporate pawn. An asshole. And, a moron.

Oh yeah, and a pussy ass BIOTCH.



Posted by E at 06:31 PM | Comments (476) | TrackBack

Nader's in?? Who invited him?

My $.02 on the Nader issue: who the fuck does he think he's fooling? He spoiled the 2000 election. His current rhetoric claims, "Movements for change come from more voices and choices, more debates and proposals, more organizing and respect for the voters in the electoral arena." This may be true on one level. But in a different sense, movements for change come from solidarity behind a strong individual. Check Walesa in Poland, or Mandela in South Africa. Both of these leaders have Nobel Peace Prizes. What have you done, Mr. Nader, besides save us from the Pinto. We do not need a pluralism of candidates to defeat the current DoucheBag in Cheif. We need a strong individual capable of leading us into battle against the Dark Side. Who does Nader think he's fooling -- you're 70 years old Mr. Nader. Time to hang up the hat, sip soy milk, and realize if you stay in the race, you could stick us with 4 more years of President Dumbass. Below is a letter to Ralphy from my sister. Take the chance to tell Nader how you feel about his candidacy.

Dear Mr. Nader,

I am writing to urge you to reconsider your bid for the White House in 2004. The ultimate goal for each of us should be to beat George W. Bush in November. Your candidacy only detracts from this goal -- it causes confusion and chaos. I feel any vote you receive will be a vote directly snatched from the nominee for the Democratic Party and very well may hand President Bush the election (again).

The numbers from the 2000 election tell it all - you *were* the spoiler. 70,000 people in Florida voted for you - without you on the ballot it can only be assumed that at least 5000 of those votes would have gone to Al Gore, and he would have won the Florida delegates and, thus, the election. In 2000, you campaigned on a platform that asserted that there was very little or no difference between George W. Bush and Al Gore. I believe that was not only untrue and misleading, but also incredibly naive. I think it goes without saying that you were horribly wrong - we have seen that day in and day out since January 2001 when Bush took office. If you believed that there was no real difference between those two candidates, Mr. Nader, how can the American people trust you to make other judgement calls? The answer: we can't.

You see, Mr. Nader, *I* cannot trust you to keep the best interests of the American people in mind when you are making a decision. The current news of your 2004 candidacy is yet another example. In November, I will vote for the candidate who can save America from the clutches of the Bush administration. I will vote for the Democratic nominee. I will NOT vote for you. And I will tell everyone who will listen (again) not to vote for you either.

Please reconsider your candidacy. I beg of you. For the future of America.

Courtaney Samco
Portland, Oregon

Posted by sammy at 05:58 PM | Comments (347) | TrackBack

She Bangs

Behold the tale of William Hung:

The creepy looking asian dude on American Idol who sang She Bangs.

He even has his own fan club.

Cool guy...

Oh yeah, a great Anti-Bush propaganda site.



Posted by E at 03:33 PM | Comments (370) | TrackBack

Compassionate Conservatism


I am so happy we are helping the poor people of Haiti with, count 'em, 50 BAD ASS Marines!!

Boy, I sure hope Bush's lessons what type of people are good and bad come in handy. A sample of his flashcards from the lessons:

As you can see, if Haitian people had been Rich White CEO's with money to donate to his corrupt campaign of hellfire and brimstone, more than 50 fucking marines would have been sent. Why, they might even invade the country with a "Shock and Awe" campaign if those poor black people had any oil to give us. Unfortunately, unless they all go Michael Jackson on us, those poor Haitians are going to be left to the wolves.



Posted by E at 11:37 AM | Comments (436) | TrackBack

Leap Year is stupid

Leap years are so awesome. An extra day to reflect on all those other days just adds so much to my year. I wish every day was feb 29th.

Doesn't it seem all fucked up that we even have leap years? Doesn't it seem kind of arbitrary. I mean, by the logic of leap years, we might as well make each year exactly 300 days long with ten 30-day months. Then, every 10 years, we could have a year that was an extra 650 days long. We'd call it the super year. We could invent a whole bunch of new months to go into the super year and we could name them after famous pop stars. "it's the 5th of Brittnuary" or "my birthday is on the 20th of Timberlaketember".

Posted by flood at 09:09 AM | Comments (242) | TrackBack

February 22, 2004

Wanna join my cyber-clique?


I just got invited to this for the second time by two unrelated people. And I know many people who "use" friendster. But what is the use? It's a neat idea and while there have been some very good examples of social networking for people with common interests, I wonder if a purely Internet-based "web" is destined to go anywhere.

At some point, you've got to meet a person face-to-face. Or do you?

It gets back to my original question: what's the purpose of the friend networks? Ego? Dating services? Business Networking? Eh.

Posted by Squatch at 08:06 PM | Comments (227) | TrackBack

I bought in!

I just got back from the fourth ski trip of my life. I went to Bolton (in Vermont) with Good Ole flood, vegg and another to remain nameless. While they were whizzing through the advanced slopes, I was tackling the beginner trails head-on. At the end of the day, it was settled. I had to buy my own skis.

I haven't been this excited about something in a while.

I'll keep you posted with my progress - any advice?

Posted by Squatch at 07:33 PM | Comments (245)

OMG They Killed Ralph (those bastards?)

Holy moly. So Ralph is running.

Regardless of your opinion on Nader, the truth, noted even by former Nader supporters is that had Gore won NH or FL in the last election George W. Bush would never have been president. Give Gore Nader's votes in either of those two states, and Gore wins the election.

After announcing his candidacy today, Nader gave an extended interview on All Things Considered (listen here) this afternoon. To tell the truth, he sounded kind of crazy. Among other things, he suggested that he would be wooing more conservative voters than liberal ones. He argues that the extreme right, angry with Bush for his stance on trade issues and on individual rights (Patriot Act), will be inclined to vote for a third party candidate, meaning Ralph. Left leaning voters, he contests, will stick with the Democratic party because, unlike in the last election, Democrats are currently the not-in-power-party, and historically the voters for independant candidates have always come from the in-power-party.

According to Nader, Howard Dean called a few minutes before announcing the end of his candidacy. Nader seemed to suggest that Dean wants to find a way to transition the Dean base to Nader. Dean has been quoted before as saying he was against any 3rd party candidates running in this election.

Bill Richardson (Gov. New Mexico, possible Dem VP candidate?) came out pretty strongly against Nader, saying that Nader is running purely to inflate his own ego. The Green party (Nader's traditional base) is not supporting Nader's run. A number of Democratic members of Nader organization (eg, Public Citizen) have begun to resign in protest of Nader's decision to run.

What will the impact of Nader's candidacy be on this election?

I voted for Nader in 2000. I voted absentee in California, where, when I mailed my ballot in Gore was up 13 points in the polls. The final results in CA were closer than that, but Gore still took the state. I was thinking "hey, wouldn't it be nice if the Green party got funding in the next election?" I did not know how devisive and destructive George W. Bush would be as president.

Nader thinks he's going to woo extreme right-wing voters? I can't see any of my friends who write for The Dartmouth Review (the closest thing we've got to the Extreme right in Hanover, NH) voting for Nader. My friend Seth, who writes for the Review, got a chance to interview Dennis Kucinich a few weeks ago. He went into the interview wearing an aluminum foil hat with antennae to mock a bill Kucinich's supported (it did ban “psychotronic” devices that are “directed at individual persons or targeted populations for the purpose of ... mood management, or mind control”). Do you think Seth is going to vote for Ralph Nader?

Posted by flood at 05:59 PM | Comments (222)

February 21, 2004

Eye on the Prize

It's nice to wake up and finally see the trickle of news that the US might have a bead on Bin Laden. While speculation it might be, it brings up two important points:

1. There is little dispute that capturing Bin Laden would be one of the most important events since 9/11. Maybe not in terms of actual damage to the network of cells that he controls (from his cave), but bringing that guy alive and well into a courtroom would show the world that the United States knows the difference between vindictiveness and justice. I don't envy the soldier who has to capture him at gunpoint without handing down a "summary judgement" right then and there, but hopefully it will happen that we take him alive. It seems to me that the madman whose minions would die at his command will ultimately decide that a his own life is too precious to give up. But, again, this is all speculation.

2. Politics.

"The timing of that order will ultimately depend on President Bush," the paper says. "Capturing bin Laden will certainly be a huge help for him as he gets ready for the election."

I'll say it right here and now. If any proof is ever discovered that Bush intentionally delayed the capture of Bin Laden for the sake of his re-election, he should be put in prison. But I honestly don't think that is likely. When you stand back and consider it, both sides of the aisle want Bin Laden. Just as the members of Congress gathered on the steps of the Capitol after 9/11, again we will find that parties are blurred and rhetoric will relax, albeit temporarily, while the Nation finally breathes the sigh of closure.

Posted by Squatch at 12:38 PM | Comments (249)

February 20, 2004

ABB Is My Mantra

For the past six months I have made it a personal mission to get the current douchebag out of office. I came to this realization while watching C_SPAN or FoxNews or some other such mega media outlet, and I found myself wanting to throw things at the television whenever Bush came on the screen or Bill O'liely started in on some shit storm. If you remember, the race for the Democratic nominee last summer was much different than we find it today. A relatively unknown ex-governor of Vermont was starting to make waves on the Internet and small community based gatherings called Meetups. The rest of the Dems were all playing second fiddle with no real grasp of the power of the Internet or how to energize and empower the 18-24 yearolds in this nation. So I examined the field and decided to jump on the the Dean train. I logged over 100 hours on Gov. Dean's campaign over this past Fall, canvassing and phone-banking swingvoters in the oh so crucial Granite State. But, as my time was spent helping 'Take our country back' with Howard Dean, I was much less of a die hard Deaniac and much more of a ABB (anybody but Bush) believer. Unlike, Zirch, the humble host of this web-site. I felt that Dean was electable and that, especially in the primaries, we needed to vote our hopes and dreams and not who was the best compromise.

But all of this is now history. I am still a ABB-er and could really care less which of the Johns win. I will support either in the General election and will work equally hard to either campaign when it comes time to throw Bush out.

So I guess my question for you all is: who will make the most formidable ticket come November? Kerry-Edwards has been dismissed by both candidates. Bob Graham has thrown his name into the VP hat. Who do you think would make the best Democratic ticket?

Posted by sammy at 06:19 PM | Comments (327)

Queer Eye for the NeoCon guy

To continue with the "how cool is Joe Rospars (so cool)" thread, I'm going to steal some thunder from his latest BlogForAmerica post.

Tom Delay has been shouting about gay marriage again.

Americans "have been tolerant of homosexuality for years, but now it's being stuffed down their throats and they don't like it," DeLay said.

Can someone please shove some homosexuality down Tom DeLay's throat?

I was talking with my buddy Mark last night, and I asked him this:

There are all these people who are so homophobic it's pathetic. Is it the case that every single one of these people is in fact a repressed homosexual themselves? Why else would they be SO angry about this obvious equal/civil rights issue? Seems to me that they must be like "well if I can't be myself and be flaming gay, I'm sure as hell not gonna let anyone else express themselves!"

Are all these hard core conservative pricks actually homosexuals? I think so.

I am officially starting a campaign to raise money to have these guys outed. We'd be doing the whole country a favor.

Donate $5, $10 or your whole paycheck. Whatever cash we get, we'll use it to call HBO and have the Queer Eye dudes go and spruce up DeLay, Rumsfeld, and Wolfowitz. I can't imagine they'd be able to spend too much running wars if they were really really really well dressed.

Posted by flood at 06:00 PM | Comments (258) | TrackBack

I am Famous

Mr. Squatch, you are so nice to intruduce us to someone famous: Me.

My name is E and I am a profesisonal actor. Professional I get paid to work in an office, but I am an actor on the side.

Notwithstanding, I have some issues with some of the bantering between Liberal A and Liberal B:


For two reasons:

-All the people in the united states who are too disenfanchised or (in Florida's case) too black to vote, don't because they think it doesn't make a difference

-George Bush courted nascar dads at the daytona 500. What is the Daytona 500 you ask? Its a corporate sponsored event in which gas guzzling automobiles race a round a circle while drunk white men and women with bangs hurl beer cans at them. A few of their fans are pictured here.

To these pieces of feces, I have one thing to say.

Basically, the only way take the country back is for cessation. I propose the following alingment of the following countries:

Blue Area:
Country Name: Kingdom of George Steinbrenner
Capitol: Yankee Stadium
Currency: Fuckin' Yankee Hats
National Emblem: A RedSox Fan who is disheveled praying to a Yankee Fan
President: John Kerry
Vice President: Joe Torre
Religion: Long Island Pseudo Judaism
Current Disputes: Canada (Canadian Maple Syrup Vs. Vermont's)
Military: Drunk New Yorkers

Green Area:
Country Name: National Community of Peace, Love and Prosperity
Capitol: Haight Street, San Francisco
Currency: Positive Vibes
National Emblem: People of All Races Building a Community of Peace
President: Ralph Nader
Vice President: Ben Harper
Religion: Everything Allowed, except for any form of Fundamentalism
Current Disputes: Hawaii Vs. Humboldt, who has the best green?
Military: Stoned High Schoolers

Red Area:
Country Name: Fuck you, I'm America
Capitol: Atlanta, Georgia
Currency: Teeth of Any Minority
National Emblem: A big Guy with a gun to the head of another guy who is giving him money while doing work for him. And a Racecar. And Corporation Building.
President: Jerry Falwell
Vice President: George W.
Religion: Evangelical Christianity
Current Disputes: Everyone with natural resources
Military: Only Nukyular Weapons

Thank You,


Posted by E at 03:28 PM | Comments (849)

I know somebody famous.

The one and only, Joe Rospars, my roomate. Here's a cool article about him.

Joe Rospars jokes that it was perhaps "a heat stroke or momentary loss of my senses" that prompted him to quit his job teaching English in Sweden last summer to become a volunteer writer, editor and online diarist for Howard Dean's presidential campaign.

Heatstroke in Sweeden? You should try Alabama, pal!

Posted by Squatch at 09:12 AM | Comments (327) | TrackBack


I'm trying to figure out why the heck I've spent an hour a day for the past few days writing crap here. I mean nobody is reading it. OK, my mom is reading it, and I'm sure she thinks it's great, but I could fart in a napkin and she'd frame it. Why am I wasting my time?

Is it about the feeling of empowerment?

Because of the Internet, for the first time I was able to feel involved in a campaign.

Or is it desire to be be a part of this powerful new medium -- the blogsphere?

thousands of Americans came together to show a new and different way, and a new and different medium (the Internet) has emerged as a force and tool for the people to reclaim their voice in the party and in our democracy.

I'd like to think we're penning this verbal-love in an attempt to actualize these things we keep talking about, these things we truly believe in. We're fed up, and we're spending our time explaining why we're fed up on the internet because we have a chance to use this powerful new medium to empower ourselves, and to affect change. In a word, we have a chance to lead:

[The Dean Machine] has made ... followers into new leaders.

New leaders who seek to reclaim their democracy from special interest money that is legal bribery.

New leaders who seek to reclaim their country from a bunch of neoconservatives that are destroying what we stand for.

New leaders who seek power to transform how things work against transactional personal power that likes things just the way they are.

Is that what this is all about? I'd like to think so... but in reality the fact that I've got an hour a day to spend writing here probably just means I need to start thinking hard about getting a real job.

the above 3 quotes were taken from entries on Joe Trippi's new blog, ChangeForAmerica.com.

Posted by flood at 01:15 AM | Comments (345)

This trains a movin'

A good friend of mine likes to imitate Joe Trippi and mumble one of the worst criticisms he doled out (frequently) at Dean for America: "You just don't get it."

Well Joe, looks like we've got another one.

Dr. Dean can hardly claim to have laid the rails for some powerful engine of change. His campaign, as he never tired of reminding us, was about "taking the country back," which seemed another way of saying it was basically about winning.

Howard Dean isn't going to be our President, as sad as it is for me to say. But to say that his movement ended yesterday is shortsighted.

Dean made and will continue to make significant contributions in two respects: message and technology.

Many of my friends who aren't involved in politics that much say that Dean "did his job" - I believe that's indicative of Democratic voters, as a whole. Two major steps here: First, he asked the questions. Dean's plea crystallized the discontent felt for the malaise and inaction that much of the then current Democratic Party exhibited. From a March 15, 2003, speech to the California Democratic Party State Convention:

What I want to know is what in the world so many Democrats are doing supporting the President's unilateral intervention in Iraq?

What I want to know is what in the world so many Democrats are doing supporting tax cuts, which have bankrupted this country and given us the largest deficit in the history of the United States?

Second came the answer. His staunch anti-war position became the battle cry of every viable candidate, even thought all of them (save Clark) had voted to relinquish the checks and balances system in place for decisions ... such as going to war. But when the message had been pioneered and shown to work, they all jumped on.

Speaking of pioneers and proof of concept, let address my favorite fact about Dr. Dean. AVERAGE CONTRIBUTION SIZE WAS LESS THAN $100. This is because the Internet allowed people to become personally invested in the campaign through targeted outreach, unconventional volunteer opportunities and a vast network of individually motivated campaigns for Dean's nomination. Dean showed that the Internet wasn't just for oppo-research and campaign email. Meet-up will continue and thrive because of his campaign. It is without question that blogforamerica.com's media presence didn't help the blogosphere get the credibility (and readership) it is beginning to harness. Just look at the left side of DailyKos's blog. It's got so many campaign stickers, it should be in on a VW's bumper in Berkeley, CA! Ok, maybe it kind of is, but you get my point. And it's working already.

Dr. Dean didn't just lay the "rails" for fundamental change. He made the bandwagon a train. And now matter who is driving that train, it’s got one destination: The White House.

Matt Bai, we are still going to Take Our Country Back.

Posted by Squatch at 12:24 AM | Comments (763) | TrackBack

February 19, 2004

Hey Visual Learners!

Using fundrace.org's Money Map Tool I generated a couple of images that show where each campaign's contributions come from. I broke it down by the two candidates we're most interested in right now, The Johns.

Where Sen. Edward's campaign money comes from:

Where Sen. Kerry's campaign money comes from:

Now, here's an SAT question for you: "Based on the previous two diagrams, which candidate is most likely to win a national election?"

Posted by flood at 02:20 PM | Comments (578)

More Edwards vs. Kerry

The Daily Kos has a much better discussion on Edwards vs. Kerry than I wrote yesterday.

Posted by flood at 10:16 AM | Comments (462)

Welcome to E's Krazy Korner

Rappin' for peace and fightin' the man
My name is E and I live in a can

A can of coffee and a can of beans
Fightin' corruption by any means

Read my site and you will see
My utterly insane government fantasy

Chicago is cold, I bet so is Maine
President Bush was addicted to Cocaine

Posted by E at 12:29 AM | Comments (294)

February 18, 2004

Dean's out, Edwards is pushing... but Kerry is still 'da man ta beat'.

So it's Wednesday and the The Wisconsin Primary is over. Howard Dean has pulled out of the race. Edwards got way more votes than anyone expected, but Kerry won. Again.

Today is a defining moment for the Democratic party. There are two powerful issues we must ask ourselves if want beat Bush and move our party forward at the same time (and I would argue that these two things must happen together or not at all):
- How can we harness the powerful organization and energy that the Dean candidacy created and use it to help carry us to victory in November?
- Which John?

Question 1:
How do we harness the Dean energy?

For a while when Dean was on top, I put on hold my ABB (Anybody But Bush) affiliation and became a hard core ABD'er (Anybody but Dean'er). To the chargrin of many of my twenty-something dread-locked peers, most of whom were Dean supports, I found myself frequently using that favorite pundit phrase "electability". I stopped getting invited to parties, but I'm still glad Dean didn't win. I think he would have made a great president, I just don't believe he ever could have won a national election.

All that aside, I was and am in awe of the incredible support and energy that Dean created. He used the internet like no one before, and being a huge geek, I love that techy shit. He has rallied the support of my generation. One quarter of the contributions to his campaign were from people under thirty. When is that last time young people were so involved in the process? Seems to me that it's been 30-40 years.

Dean got people angry. He got people who didn't care to care. Because of the Howard Dean campaign, people are involved and are interested in FIGHTING to get the criminals in the white house out of there.

With the loss of Howard Dean, will the Democrats lose this energy? Or will the grassroots support that the Dean campaign created be mobilized for whichever of the John's wins the primary?

I don't know what's going to happen next. Dean claims that he'll be going on to do something else to continue this fight for change. Keep your eye on ChangeForAmerica.com, the site that Joe Trippi created when he left the Dean campaign.

Question 2:
Which John?

The question of who we should put foward to beat Bush has become much simpler. Kerry or Edwards? Without Dean clouding the race, perhaps people can come to their senses and NOT FUCKING NOMINATE A NORTHEAST LIBERAL. Does anyone remember Michael Dukakis? I mean shit, I was only 8 years old and I remember that guy. Doesn't anyone else smell Dukakis cologne on Kerry? It's a stinky bitch.

Look, neither Kerry or Edwards is great. They're both kinda slimy. I'd argue that Edwards is less so, but many people would disagree based solely on his former status as a trial lawyer.

OK, so Kerry has a war record. That is pretty tizight, yo. I don't think this AWOL issue is gonna die. If you haven't seen the whitehouse press conference right after they issued the "proof" that Bush served in the Texas Air Ntl. Guard, you should watch it now. That link takes you directly to the whitehouse press conference web site, but from watching the clip, you'd think it was something edited up on BushYoga.com because watching McClellan squirm while those reports, who have been such ass suckers to the administration until very recently, really grill the shit out of this issue.

So Kerry's got Vietnam medals and a bunch of veterans. That's good. But Edwards has the South, and to me, that's much much more. Win Florida in 2000, Gore wins. If he'd won his frikin home state of Tennasee, he would have won. We NEED some southern states if we want to win this election, and John Edwards brings that.

The question for me is the same as it was before Dean pulled out: "Who is going to beat Bush"? I wonder whether, now that Dean is out, my friends will continue to slap me every time I say "electability"... I hope not.

I hope they go to sleep humming to themselves "who can beat Bush.... who can beat Bush...".

Please, just try it once. Try it tonight. And tell me -- do you wake up with "John Kerry" on your tounge? If so, feel free to slap me every time I mention "electability".

Posted by flood at 11:32 PM | Comments (266)

Science, Shmience

An article from today's NY times starts: "The Bush administration has deliberately and systematically distorted scientific fact in the service of policy goals on the environment, health, biomedical research and nuclear weaponry at home and abroad, a group of about 60 influential scientists, including 20 Nobel laureates, said in a statement issued today."

The article goes on to say that the Bush administration's cavalier attitude towards science "could place at risk the basis for the nation's long-term prosperity, health and military prowess."

How can anyone support a president who ignores facts? An administration who so obviously puts spin on every single thing that comes out of their whitehouse?

OK, the creationists can I guess... I mean they've been practicing ignoring the facts for decade anyways (check that link out -- it's pretty funny).

Obviously, every adminstration has done it's share of lying. Clinton lied about sex. But something tells me that if they found a bunch of semen stains on George Bush's intern's dress, he would ignore the scientific evidence that predicted a 99.9999% probability that it was presidential cum and blame it on his dog or something. That rat bastard.

Posted by flood at 10:50 PM | Comments (676)

Presidential Play Act I


Feb. 18th 2004
Washington, D.C.
Oval Office

A tired and disheveled George W. Bush paces nervously and feverously about the room, stopping every 22 seconds to yell, "TEQUILA!!" and down a shot of Wild Turkey.

GW: I'm tired lord, tired of all of these people questioning my "service". Please god, won't you smite everyone who questions why I don't just reveal I was a rich boy cokehead with no morals, values or direction in life?

Camera pans to John Ashcroft, wearing an SS uniform and sporting a Hitler mustache.

JA: Die personne ein Amerikkka es dumpkoffs! Ai Deutchland es einen uber alles! Es Juden en einen Ragheads einen enemies dien Amerikka!


JA: Ok, obviously, you're so drunk you've forgotten all the Nazi rhetoric I taught you. Georgie, if we are gonna turn this country from the world’s greatest democracy to the stratified imperialistic conquering blob of fascism you want it to be, you need to remember things! Maybe this will help.

Ashcroft strips off the SS uniform to reveal a cowboy outfit, complete with six-shooter and "String 'em up by their damn non-Christian hands" Belt Buckle.

GW: Jesus?

JA: Yeah, um sure...its Jesus. TO WHOM DO YOU SERVE?

GW: The lord our god, king of the universe who commands me to exploit his children by use of unmitigated corruption, spreading of irrational fear and madness, and preemptive attacks on countries whose populace mostly practices a different and therefore evil religion.


GW: To better the goals of the neo-conservative movement and furthering...


...furthering the advancement of the preparation of armageddon.


GW: When the people of the world have been converted to Christianity or murdered by Christianity, plain and freakin’ simple.


GW: By systematically destroying governments and usurping them, in clear violation of international law. By draining said countries of any remaining natural resources, their populace will revolt into a quag...


...a quagmire of civil war, a non-sustainable environment and general chaos. We, the neo-conservative leaders, must continue these mindless and profit motivated attacks in the face of adversity and resistance from our country and the world population. In doing so, we must cater to the whims and needs of the world’s largest corporations. By insuring their survival, we prepare for the arrival of Jesus followed by my reign as fascist leader of the earth. All will bow to me. All will...


...all will bow to me. I will have saved us from evils like homosexuals, women making their own decisions, companies treating their workers fairly, legislators listening to the needs of their constituents instead of getting fully comped steak house meals and escorts named Tami, Cyndi or Cooki or any other girl from the south with bangs and a goodamn I ending her first name...and uh...uh...uh, what was I about to say?

JA: Tequila?


...By allowing ME become Superlord of the United States of the World, executives and the privileged can now have BILLIONS of dollars instead of MILLIONS of dollars. This difference will make us MORE POWERFUL over the poor minory I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN JESUS HIMSELF!

George W. is clearly tired. He has his hands on his knees, his bottle of Wild Turkey dangling ever so quaintly from his right forefinger and thump. He has started to perspire on his head. His body is slightly convulsing.

Ashcroft approaches him lovingly and rubs the back of his brain. An evil smile begins to emerge on Ashcroft’s face.

JA: Very good, mein pupil. I am glad we finally found a way to program you to respond to the will of the NEO CONSERVATIVE ALLIANCE FOR IMPERIALISM!!

All at once, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Condi Rice, Bill O'Reily, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ronald Reagan with his voice speaking machine, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle and Ariel Sharon enter the room and begin the Neo-Conservative Anthem ):

Sung to the tune of Row, row, row your boat:

Kill, Kill, Kill Al-Queda, don't forget the oil!
Thow away the 1st amendment, let the wetbacks toil!

Once again, we rule the world, by spreading fear and hate!
Mutilate and denigrate, separation of church and state!

Make concessions to rich and persecute the poor!
Don’t forget to cast your vote, Cheney Bush ‘04


Bush falls flat on his face. Lets out a pitiful squeal, puts his thumb in his mouth and farts. He is passed out.

Ariel Sharon, Richard Perle, Paul Wolfowitz all take out dreidels and start spinning then on the floor and sing Chanukah songs, very peacefully. Reagan sits lovingly next to George W. and admires him.

RR: This man may be a stone drunk former cocaine addict, but please, for the sake of Republican pride (which, by the way I created and stoked into complete selfishness and prejudice against the poor) pick that idiot off the floor.

Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Condi Rice and John Ashcroft all look at each other with signs of “shit, not my turn”.

Rock, Paper and Scissors games are played for some time. One by one, everyone in the game but Dick Cheney leaves the room with a fist in the air...happy that they don’t have to do what Cheney has to do.

DC (on mobile phone): Yes, this is El Capitan...El Burro has fallen off the wagon and needs assistance...repeat...El Burro has fallen off the wagon and needs assistance...bring me a hot towel, the penis of a migrant worker, the soul of Sloboan Milosovic and favorite undees with pictures of Scooby Doo on them...inform Lynne that I plan to sex her excessively with my new hard working penis and don't forget to send her the blood a first born Jewish male as that is our aphrodisiac...as for El Burro, put the towel on him smack him on the ass and tell him to invade Tajikistan...say that they called him a bully or something....El Capitan out...

An underling, dressed in a costume that has a picture of George W. mooning the Senate at the last State of the Union Speech, enters the name. His name is Mortimer Lewinsky.

ML: Here are the things you asked for sir. I am having trouble with the blood of the...

Dick Cheney reaches up to the sky and summons the power of the devil. Horns grow from his forehead and steam rises from his collar. He thrusts his hand into Mortimer Lewinsky's chest and removes his heart. With blood dripping all over the place, he holds the still beating heart high above his head and allows the blood to drip in his mouth.

DC: mmmmmm...first born Jewish male blood....god I’m turned on right now

With a flash, he turns into a bat and flies through the open door, leaving Ronald Reagan with a passed out George W. and an extremely dead Mortimer Lewinsky. Reagan takes the towel and lovingly places in on George W.’s head.

RR: You have done well, my young protégé. From the placing of completely unqualified persons to your cabinet to the slashing of government regulatory commissions to the false promises of given to millions of our nation’s young people, you give new meaning to the phrase Compassionate Conservatism...

Immediately and without warning, George W. sits up. The towel is still covering his face as he slurs his words with so much passion, the towel flapping as a sail being blown by hot air:

GW: Compfssssinite Confervatsm. Weeev no shillld behine. Faddddam Kusssayyn issssa immmminint threts to werld peeees. Immma membr of za nexxxxsss dynafssstee. Geeeezus isssss myyyy onleee frrrweeend....

Reagan scoots over to his Vice President's Son and does a quick 360 in his wheelchair, smacking Bush across the back of the head with his lifeless feet.

RR: Damn that Boy! I was the great communicator, he is an insult to conservatives everywhere.

Just then, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly come storming into the office with their pants on their heads, singing "Do wa ditty, ditty dum doobie do"

BO: Thanks fer the pills Rush, I'm ready for anything.

SH: Yeah, Al Franken is a fukkin' idiot.

RL: OK Boys...Here is the plan: We secretly take over the airwaves of the entire country, making fun and making the democrats out to be completely wrong. In saying the word liberal, make sure to say it like you were saying, person who killed my entire family then ate my dog, because that's what we want the people to think.

BO: Sure thing Rush!

SH: Sounds great, Pa!

RL: Then, after we get everyone to think that liberals are evil scum, we say that the media is controlled by them. By blaming the media for all of the wrongs of society, we can can make it look like Democrats are evil and that sensible minded people like ourselves have the right ideas about things. Liberals will melt in our clutches and we will reign as the captains of the media circus HA HA HA HA HA.

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly put their hands together and say in unison:


With that, they calmly put their clothes back on, comb their hair, take mood stabilizers, call their Latino maids and tell them to have lunch ready for them, shake hands with Ronald Regan and give a what’s up to the Jewish guys playing Dreidel in the corner. They pat George W. on the head (Still passed out) and file out of the room in an orderly fashion.

RR: Ahhhh...Modern Conservatives. Back in my day all we had to do was blame communists and we got away with murder, literally! Ahhh...But this is different, this is worse than murder, this is DECEPTION! God I love it. I'm going for a mid-morning Corporate sponsored brunch...you guy's in?

Reagan gestures to the Jewish men in the corner.

PW: Yeah, we're in just give us a minute.

RR: Cool, see you there.

Reagan leaves the room and Ariel Sharon, Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Perle all go over to Bush. Sharon leans down and kisses Bush’s comatose body passionately.

AS: God, I love this guy so much I could just make out with him.

PW: Dude, you did.

AS: Oh yeah.

RP: Yeah, he’s really advancing our cause. You know what they say, “Every good Evangelical nut has Zionist best friend!”...Anybody got any Challah left?

AS: Its Wednesday, you schmuck. No Challah till Shabbat.

RP: Whatever, go kill some Palestinians

AS: I might just go do that.

PW: Need $5 Billion Dollars worth of military equipment and protection?

AS: No, I’m chill, you guys just gave me that last month.

PW: You never know, you might need to kill MORE Palestinians.

RP: Yeah, like that's a BAD thing (Sarcastically)

The three believers in Jewish fundamentalism (JUST AS dangerous as Muslim and Christian) leave the room arm in arm, chuckling and hamming it up...

...a spotlight appears on George W.'s passed out body...he slowly sits up takes the towel off of is face


...George W. Vomits all over himself


Posted by E at 07:14 PM | Comments (1314)

Bloggin' fo War II

Title: I ain't Mad Atcha
Artist: G Dubsack
Album: Corporate Pawn in the Game of World Domination Volume Six
Label: Rove Reckids

Das right, I'm back and I'm comin' out swingin'
This fucked up country to its knees, I am briginin'

Takin' corporate sponsorship in the ass fo' sure
Just like baby J got gold, frankensence and mur

Cuz I'm evangalistic like a pathetic half breed
I'm high on Ashcroft, not high on weed

He's a badass, lockin' up my enemies list
Makin' sell outs, NAACP and ACLU get pissed

Fuck those groups, yeah I'm out for whitey
All rich as fuck and pimpin' hoes like Fleiss, Heidi

We gots the money, got our plasma screenz on
Makin' blacks and mexicans, work all day on the lawn

Better be green, when my baby's debutante party comes
Watch goverment, business and crime all become chums

Its happenin' here at the house that is white
Corruption is easier than flying a kite

Drape myself in the flag and make you be afraid
If you aren't married, you shouldn't ever get laid

I'm born again, spittin' game from the lord
You are a commie if you don't buy a ford

Fuck the world, yo', we crusin fancy free
9/11 Conspiracy? They'll never trace to me...


Sweet dreams subjects, I mean Americans, I mean "those that got hood winked by perhaps the most disgusting administration in the history of american democracy"

Posted by E at 01:11 AM | Comments (369)

February 17, 2004

Important Instructions You May Need Some day

You may need these instructions someday:

I have never, and I repeat never (ok maybe once) seen a legitimate webpage that so skillfully and successfully uses the phrases "douche can", "douche tube", "douche bag", "bottom nozzle", "stop cock", "enema", "fix the rectal/vagina pipe with stop cock", AND "prepare yourself for enema".

Truly incredible.

As a side note:
When you search "Douche Bag" on google, the above link is the first search result. There's also that bunch of ads that come up on the side. One of them is headlined "Does Your Vagina Smell?" Now that is what I call targeted advertising. god bless the internet.

Posted by flood at 11:04 PM | Comments (504)

Bloggin fo' War

Poetry from George W. Bush circa 2004...Translated from rich man english to ebonics.

Lyin' and Stealin'

Creepin' out the do wif my forty fo'
Find a poor man and exploit him fo' his dough

Cuz I'm a tax cuttin, service dodgin, corruptable bitch
Kickin' America in the balls while givin' enz to the rich

I'm Geroge W, G Dubsack if you ringin' my bell
Neva know what A-rabs, I'm bombin' to hell

Christian as fuck and anti-choice like a hick
Brown nosin' the rich and suckin they dick

I'm Dubsack, y'all preceeded by a G, y'all
Ridin' this country to economic freefall

Chainy Dick is my left hand trigga man wif skills
Gettin' the government to pay Halliburton's bills

D Rummy, das my man in charge o'defence
Gives my army, mad ill complements

CP is my nigga, head of Dept. of State
At the UN, spreading fear and hate

Ridge Tommy is crew thick, homeland security
Neva know wut color the warning will be

My pops and Ronnie R gave Saddam mad weapinz
Den he took dem all and kicked us in da shizzins

Fear Iran in the 80's, no alarms?
Free those hostages for illegal arms

My daddy's a crook and so am I
Stand up on the podium and lie lie lie

Anti-Environmental and a dick to to boot
Got my hands on all the people's loot

Crusader and a coke head and a mean, nasy dude
Don't Believe in war? Un-Patriotic and rude!

Vote for me and to hell you're gonna go
How do I know? Cuz Jesus Said So....


G Dubsack

Posted by E at 09:35 PM | Comments (296)

Dear Diary

May 1972 - May 1973
New Orleans
Some Hooker's Room
4:23 pm

Dear Diary,

Welp, just knocked up another hooker. Daddy sez I shouldn't but Neil and Jeb gave me 50 dollars if I got another one pregnant. I did her in the butt, that'll make the boy an asshole!! Get it? Jeb did, he's my favorite brother. I bet in 20 years, he'll bail me out again of somethin' crazy I did or done or will do once more. Where's m'beer?

Aaaaah. That's good. Beer is delicious, I bet if I drink beer the rest of my life I'll never be said or worry about anything. Sure is better to drink beer and do coke off of a line of 100 dollar bills strategicelly placed on dead negroes than fight war. I hate war and negroes. Negroes especially. One time one of them called in to question the history of my family, he said that my family is composed of a bunch of ass kissing power hungry n'er do wells that have no real skill other than wasting people's money and covering up our inadequacies. I dunno what the hell he wuz sayin, so I shot him in his ass and told him to go fight for me in 'Nam. What a sucker.

I hope I have daughters some day. Slutty daughters, that, like their pa have no clue how to behave in public and are only good at one thing, suckin' dick. If I was a woman I would be good at that too. It would take me while to learn because daddy always said I'm slow, but i'd do it cuz I know inside I'm real smart, yet outside I pretend I'm a moron in order for people to identify themselves with me. OOOHWEEE am I tired of writing. Where's m'cocaine?

Aaaaah thats better. Well diary, I have to go away for a while, then emerge 25 years later as a natural choice to lead our country in to holy war with muslims. I expect to encounter Billy Grahm and be converted into a scared, frightened man who will use his stolen power to influence the millions into war with people who don't deserve it. Also, women are shit and shouldn't be allowed to do anything. Also, I plan to oppoint a man to head the FDA who writes that the only way to heal yourself is through prayer and devotion to our lord Jesus Christ.

Shit, Karl Rove's comin over to clean me up, cuz mom n'dad are comin.


George W. Bush

Posted by E at 07:50 PM | Comments (453)

Important Notice

This site in no way condones moving to Canada. Although Canada as a country has some great ideas, like universal health care, gun control, and reasonable drug policy, most Canadians are pretty lame. I knew this one Canadian and all he liked to do was eat pancakes and play hockey. What a tool.

Posted by flood at 06:35 PM | Comments (1254)

Today is the first day of the rest of your life

A'ight, so this blog thing (or bloggins as E likes to call it) is just getting too frikin hot not to get on the bandwagon. M-Con and I are gonna mess around with this for a bit. We'll see what happens.

Always Spade your Cats and Dogs,

Posted by flood at 05:16 PM | Comments (478)