letsmovetocanada

Ahh, when media conglomerates make decisions for us. In the wake of the Janet Jackson "Breastgate", ClearChannel, the nation's largest radio station owner, has censored the King of Media himself.

Who is ClearChannel?

What do you care if a company owns everything?

What are you talking about you liberal scum?

Why, take a look right here!

Continue reading "The Sweet Smell of Censorship"

That's right, the Passions of the Christ opened yesterday and all of the religious bru-ha-ha opened along with it. Many people don't know that originally, he was named Seth from Nazareth, but since he was going to be Hollywood, he wanted his name to sound less Jewish.

But seriously:

Ok, ok I'll pretend I'm busy.

Continue reading "My main man JC"

Ok, so let me get this straight.

Bush will deny Haitian refugees from a country whose government we support?

Yet, our policy has always been to accept Cuban refugees wishing to live in the US. Those who came over after Bautista fell in 1959 were organized and mobilized by the CIA in the 60's to help overthrow or assasinate Castro. Bay of Pigs? Disaster.

Is this staunchly anti-Communist just-for-the-sake-of-a-grudge-against-Castro-for-45 years really necessary anymore?

Continue reading "Hate-E or Haiti?"

The most overtly religious leader in the history of our country, George W. Bush has given new meaning to the phrase "Conflict of Interest". Is he really that bad?

His most firery speech on subject was the one ten days after 9/11. This is the one with the most imagery of God, moral authority and Bush's classic "Axis of Evil".

John Ashcroft, the Attorney General of the United States, head of the Justice Department, a religious-right lifer, is truly scary.
This is the same guy who lost an election to someone who wasn't living.

Continue reading "Degreadation of Church and State"

Well team, it looks as though Gerge Beelzebub Bush is going to make his mark in the domestic front, not by funding work projects, helping schools, but by preventing acceptance of people with differences. Yes, its the issue that divides the country. Gay Marriage

"He has always strongly believed that marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman," White House press secretary Scott McClellan said.

Sacred? With 50% of couples getting divorced and childhood turmoil for thousands of young kids, what is so sacred about marriage? Many people get married too early, too quickly or for the wrong reasons, not letting Homosexual's endure the pain and strain of marriage is what is truly unconstitutional and discriminatory.

Continue reading "What Sanctity of Marriage?"

For those who don't know:

TEACHERS ARE TERRORISTS

A just released story. Rod Paige was the superintendent of Houston area public schools, which, not unlike prison have got to be shitty, unless you live in a suburb and daddy drives a hummer. (Just like Roger Clemens, who is an asshole and has got to be a republican.

I love the way conservatives and evil shithead motherfuckers blame unions for problems. Teachers Unions? Give me a break. Its like,

"Dude, Teachers are Terrorists? Remember that bitch of a Librarian that cought me reading sex-ed books before I was ready? Yeah, she was sooooooo a member of the SLA and shit."

Aren't teachers supposed to be good? And more importantly, isn't the fucking EDUCATION SECRETARY supposed to support teachers instead of writing and implementing the EVERY CHILD LEFT IN A DITCH TO WHITHER AND DIE SO THAT PRIVATE TESTING COMPANIES CAN MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS THAT SHOULD BE USED TO FUND STRUGGLING SCHOOL DISTRICTS Plan?

Seriously, the plan is fucked up.

And still seriously, Bush is a corporate pawn. An asshole. And, a moron.

Oh yeah, and a pussy ass BIOTCH.

WAR,

E

Behold the tale of William Hung:

The creepy looking asian dude on American Idol who sang She Bangs.

He even has his own fan club.

Cool guy...

Oh yeah, a great Anti-Bush propaganda site.

War,

E

Mr. Squatch, you are so nice to intruduce us to someone famous: Me.

My name is E and I am a profesisonal actor. Professional I get paid to work in an office, but I am an actor on the side.

Notwithstanding, I have some issues with some of the bantering between Liberal A and Liberal B:

IT DOESN'T MEAN SHIT

For two reasons:

-All the people in the united states who are too disenfanchised or (in Florida's case) too black to vote, don't because they think it doesn't make a difference

-George Bush courted nascar dads at the daytona 500. What is the Daytona 500 you ask? Its a corporate sponsored event in which gas guzzling automobiles race a round a circle while drunk white men and women with bangs hurl beer cans at them. A few of their fans are pictured here.

To these pieces of feces, I have one thing to say.

Basically, the only way take the country back is for cessation. I propose the following alingment of the following countries:

Blue Area:
Country Name: Kingdom of George Steinbrenner
Capitol: Yankee Stadium
Currency: Fuckin' Yankee Hats
National Emblem: A RedSox Fan who is disheveled praying to a Yankee Fan
President: John Kerry
Vice President: Joe Torre
Religion: Long Island Pseudo Judaism
Current Disputes: Canada (Canadian Maple Syrup Vs. Vermont's)
Military: Drunk New Yorkers

Green Area:
Country Name: National Community of Peace, Love and Prosperity
Capitol: Haight Street, San Francisco
Currency: Positive Vibes
National Emblem: People of All Races Building a Community of Peace
President: Ralph Nader
Vice President: Ben Harper
Religion: Everything Allowed, except for any form of Fundamentalism
Current Disputes: Hawaii Vs. Humboldt, who has the best green?
Military: Stoned High Schoolers

Red Area:
Country Name: Fuck you, I'm America
Capitol: Atlanta, Georgia
Currency: Teeth of Any Minority
National Emblem: A big Guy with a gun to the head of another guy who is giving him money while doing work for him. And a Racecar. And Corporation Building.
President: Jerry Falwell
Vice President: George W.
Religion: Evangelical Christianity
Current Disputes: Everyone with natural resources
Military: Only Nukyular Weapons

Thank You,

E

ACT I

Feb. 18th 2004
8:19am
Washington, D.C.
Oval Office

A tired and disheveled George W. Bush paces nervously and feverously about the room, stopping every 22 seconds to yell, "TEQUILA!!" and down a shot of Wild Turkey.

GW: I'm tired lord, tired of all of these people questioning my "service". Please god, won't you smite everyone who questions why I don't just reveal I was a rich boy cokehead with no morals, values or direction in life?

Camera pans to John Ashcroft, wearing an SS uniform and sporting a Hitler mustache.

JA: Die personne ein Amerikkka es dumpkoffs! Ai Deutchland es einen uber alles! Es Juden en einen Ragheads einen enemies dien Amerikka!

GW: TEQUILA!!

JA: Ok, obviously, you're so drunk you've forgotten all the Nazi rhetoric I taught you. Georgie, if we are gonna turn this country from the world’s greatest democracy to the stratified imperialistic conquering blob of fascism you want it to be, you need to remember things! Maybe this will help.

Ashcroft strips off the SS uniform to reveal a cowboy outfit, complete with six-shooter and "String 'em up by their damn non-Christian hands" Belt Buckle.

GW: Jesus?

JA: Yeah, um sure...its Jesus. TO WHOM DO YOU SERVE?

GW: The lord our god, king of the universe who commands me to exploit his children by use of unmitigated corruption, spreading of irrational fear and madness, and preemptive attacks on countries whose populace mostly practices a different and therefore evil religion.

JA: WHY DO YOU SERVE HIM?

GW: To better the goals of the neo-conservative movement and furthering...

TEQUILA!!

...furthering the advancement of the preparation of armageddon.

JA: WHEN WILL ARMAGEDDON OCCUR?

GW: When the people of the world have been converted to Christianity or murdered by Christianity, plain and freakin’ simple.

JA: HOW WILL WE HELP ARMAGEDODN HAPPEN?

GW: By systematically destroying governments and usurping them, in clear violation of international law. By draining said countries of any remaining natural resources, their populace will revolt into a quag...

TEQUILA!!

...a quagmire of civil war, a non-sustainable environment and general chaos. We, the neo-conservative leaders, must continue these mindless and profit motivated attacks in the face of adversity and resistance from our country and the world population. In doing so, we must cater to the whims and needs of the world’s largest corporations. By insuring their survival, we prepare for the arrival of Jesus followed by my reign as fascist leader of the earth. All will bow to me. All will...

TEQUILA!!

...all will bow to me. I will have saved us from evils like homosexuals, women making their own decisions, companies treating their workers fairly, legislators listening to the needs of their constituents instead of getting fully comped steak house meals and escorts named Tami, Cyndi or Cooki or any other girl from the south with bangs and a goodamn I ending her first name...and uh...uh...uh, what was I about to say?

JA: Tequila?

GW: TEQUILA!!

...By allowing ME become Superlord of the United States of the World, executives and the privileged can now have BILLIONS of dollars instead of MILLIONS of dollars. This difference will make us MORE POWERFUL over the poor minory I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN JESUS HIMSELF!

George W. is clearly tired. He has his hands on his knees, his bottle of Wild Turkey dangling ever so quaintly from his right forefinger and thump. He has started to perspire on his head. His body is slightly convulsing.

Ashcroft approaches him lovingly and rubs the back of his brain. An evil smile begins to emerge on Ashcroft’s face.

JA: Very good, mein pupil. I am glad we finally found a way to program you to respond to the will of the NEO CONSERVATIVE ALLIANCE FOR IMPERIALISM!!

All at once, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Condi Rice, Bill O'Reily, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ronald Reagan with his voice speaking machine, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle and Ariel Sharon enter the room and begin the Neo-Conservative Anthem ):

Sung to the tune of Row, row, row your boat:

Kill, Kill, Kill Al-Queda, don't forget the oil!
Thow away the 1st amendment, let the wetbacks toil!

Once again, we rule the world, by spreading fear and hate!
Mutilate and denigrate, separation of church and state!

Make concessions to rich and persecute the poor!
Don’t forget to cast your vote, Cheney Bush ‘04

GW: TEQUILA!!

Bush falls flat on his face. Lets out a pitiful squeal, puts his thumb in his mouth and farts. He is passed out.

Ariel Sharon, Richard Perle, Paul Wolfowitz all take out dreidels and start spinning then on the floor and sing Chanukah songs, very peacefully. Reagan sits lovingly next to George W. and admires him.

RR: This man may be a stone drunk former cocaine addict, but please, for the sake of Republican pride (which, by the way I created and stoked into complete selfishness and prejudice against the poor) pick that idiot off the floor.

Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Condi Rice and John Ashcroft all look at each other with signs of “shit, not my turn”.

Rock, Paper and Scissors games are played for some time. One by one, everyone in the game but Dick Cheney leaves the room with a fist in the air...happy that they don’t have to do what Cheney has to do.

DC (on mobile phone): Yes, this is El Capitan...El Burro has fallen off the wagon and needs assistance...repeat...El Burro has fallen off the wagon and needs assistance...bring me a hot towel, the penis of a migrant worker, the soul of Sloboan Milosovic and favorite undees with pictures of Scooby Doo on them...inform Lynne that I plan to sex her excessively with my new hard working penis and don't forget to send her the blood a first born Jewish male as that is our aphrodisiac...as for El Burro, put the towel on him smack him on the ass and tell him to invade Tajikistan...say that they called him a bully or something....El Capitan out...

An underling, dressed in a costume that has a picture of George W. mooning the Senate at the last State of the Union Speech, enters the name. His name is Mortimer Lewinsky.

ML: Here are the things you asked for sir. I am having trouble with the blood of the...

Dick Cheney reaches up to the sky and summons the power of the devil. Horns grow from his forehead and steam rises from his collar. He thrusts his hand into Mortimer Lewinsky's chest and removes his heart. With blood dripping all over the place, he holds the still beating heart high above his head and allows the blood to drip in his mouth.

DC: mmmmmm...first born Jewish male blood....god I’m turned on right now

With a flash, he turns into a bat and flies through the open door, leaving Ronald Reagan with a passed out George W. and an extremely dead Mortimer Lewinsky. Reagan takes the towel and lovingly places in on George W.’s head.

RR: You have done well, my young protégé. From the placing of completely unqualified persons to your cabinet to the slashing of government regulatory commissions to the false promises of given to millions of our nation’s young people, you give new meaning to the phrase Compassionate Conservatism...

Immediately and without warning, George W. sits up. The towel is still covering his face as he slurs his words with so much passion, the towel flapping as a sail being blown by hot air:

GW: Compfssssinite Confervatsm. Weeev no shillld behine. Faddddam Kusssayyn issssa immmminint threts to werld peeees. Immma membr of za nexxxxsss dynafssstee. Geeeezus isssss myyyy onleee frrrweeend....

Reagan scoots over to his Vice President's Son and does a quick 360 in his wheelchair, smacking Bush across the back of the head with his lifeless feet.

RR: Damn that Boy! I was the great communicator, he is an insult to conservatives everywhere.

Just then, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly come storming into the office with their pants on their heads, singing "Do wa ditty, ditty dum doobie do"

BO: Thanks fer the pills Rush, I'm ready for anything.

SH: Yeah, Al Franken is a fukkin' idiot.

RL: OK Boys...Here is the plan: We secretly take over the airwaves of the entire country, making fun and making the democrats out to be completely wrong. In saying the word liberal, make sure to say it like you were saying, person who killed my entire family then ate my dog, because that's what we want the people to think.

BO: Sure thing Rush!

SH: Sounds great, Pa!

RL: Then, after we get everyone to think that liberals are evil scum, we say that the media is controlled by them. By blaming the media for all of the wrongs of society, we can can make it look like Democrats are evil and that sensible minded people like ourselves have the right ideas about things. Liberals will melt in our clutches and we will reign as the captains of the media circus HA HA HA HA HA.

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly put their hands together and say in unison:

WHAT DO WE DO? SPIT USELESS DRIVEL!
WHY DO WE DO IT? TO BOOST OUR EGOS!
WHO DO WE CATER TO? MINDLESS WHITE TRASH!
WHAT IS OUR PURPOSE? TO SCARE AND FRIGHTEN!
WHO PAYS OUR BILLS? CORPORATE SCUM!
WHERE ARE WE GOING? STRAIGHT TO HELL!

With that, they calmly put their clothes back on, comb their hair, take mood stabilizers, call their Latino maids and tell them to have lunch ready for them, shake hands with Ronald Regan and give a what’s up to the Jewish guys playing Dreidel in the corner. They pat George W. on the head (Still passed out) and file out of the room in an orderly fashion.

RR: Ahhhh...Modern Conservatives. Back in my day all we had to do was blame communists and we got away with murder, literally! Ahhh...But this is different, this is worse than murder, this is DECEPTION! God I love it. I'm going for a mid-morning Corporate sponsored brunch...you guy's in?

Reagan gestures to the Jewish men in the corner.

PW: Yeah, we're in just give us a minute.

RR: Cool, see you there.

Reagan leaves the room and Ariel Sharon, Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Perle all go over to Bush. Sharon leans down and kisses Bush’s comatose body passionately.

AS: God, I love this guy so much I could just make out with him.

PW: Dude, you did.

AS: Oh yeah.

RP: Yeah, he’s really advancing our cause. You know what they say, “Every good Evangelical nut has Zionist best friend!”...Anybody got any Challah left?

AS: Its Wednesday, you schmuck. No Challah till Shabbat.

RP: Whatever, go kill some Palestinians

AS: I might just go do that.

PW: Need $5 Billion Dollars worth of military equipment and protection?

AS: No, I’m chill, you guys just gave me that last month.

PW: You never know, you might need to kill MORE Palestinians.

RP: Yeah, like that's a BAD thing (Sarcastically)

The three believers in Jewish fundamentalism (JUST AS dangerous as Muslim and Christian) leave the room arm in arm, chuckling and hamming it up...

...a spotlight appears on George W.'s passed out body...he slowly sits up takes the towel off of is face

GW: TIKKEEEEEEELA!!

...George W. Vomits all over himself

END OF ACT I

Title: I ain't Mad Atcha
Artist: G Dubsack
Album: Corporate Pawn in the Game of World Domination Volume Six
Label: Rove Reckids

Das right, I'm back and I'm comin' out swingin'
This fucked up country to its knees, I am briginin'

Takin' corporate sponsorship in the ass fo' sure
Just like baby J got gold, frankensence and mur

Cuz I'm evangalistic like a pathetic half breed
I'm high on Ashcroft, not high on weed

He's a badass, lockin' up my enemies list
Makin' sell outs, NAACP and ACLU get pissed

Fuck those groups, yeah I'm out for whitey
All rich as fuck and pimpin' hoes like Fleiss, Heidi

We gots the money, got our plasma screenz on
Makin' blacks and mexicans, work all day on the lawn

Better be green, when my baby's debutante party comes
Watch goverment, business and crime all become chums

Its happenin' here at the house that is white
Corruption is easier than flying a kite

Drape myself in the flag and make you be afraid
If you aren't married, you shouldn't ever get laid

I'm born again, spittin' game from the lord
You are a commie if you don't buy a ford

Fuck the world, yo', we crusin fancy free
9/11 Conspiracy? They'll never trace to me...

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Sweet dreams subjects, I mean Americans, I mean "those that got hood winked by perhaps the most disgusting administration in the history of american democracy"

Poetry from George W. Bush circa 2004...Translated from rich man english to ebonics.

Lyin' and Stealin'

Creepin' out the do wif my forty fo'
Find a poor man and exploit him fo' his dough

Cuz I'm a tax cuttin, service dodgin, corruptable bitch
Kickin' America in the balls while givin' enz to the rich

I'm Geroge W, G Dubsack if you ringin' my bell
Neva know what A-rabs, I'm bombin' to hell

Christian as fuck and anti-choice like a hick
Brown nosin' the rich and suckin they dick

I'm Dubsack, y'all preceeded by a G, y'all
Ridin' this country to economic freefall

Chainy Dick is my left hand trigga man wif skills
Gettin' the government to pay Halliburton's bills

D Rummy, das my man in charge o'defence
Gives my army, mad ill complements

CP is my nigga, head of Dept. of State
At the UN, spreading fear and hate

Ridge Tommy is crew thick, homeland security
Neva know wut color the warning will be

My pops and Ronnie R gave Saddam mad weapinz
Den he took dem all and kicked us in da shizzins

Fear Iran in the 80's, no alarms?
Free those hostages for illegal arms

My daddy's a crook and so am I
Stand up on the podium and lie lie lie

Anti-Environmental and a dick to to boot
Got my hands on all the people's loot

Crusader and a coke head and a mean, nasy dude
Don't Believe in war? Un-Patriotic and rude!

Vote for me and to hell you're gonna go
How do I know? Cuz Jesus Said So....

War,

G Dubsack

May 1972 - May 1973
New Orleans
Some Hooker's Room
4:23 pm

Dear Diary,

Welp, just knocked up another hooker. Daddy sez I shouldn't but Neil and Jeb gave me 50 dollars if I got another one pregnant. I did her in the butt, that'll make the boy an asshole!! Get it? Jeb did, he's my favorite brother. I bet in 20 years, he'll bail me out again of somethin' crazy I did or done or will do once more. Where's m'beer?

Aaaaah. That's good. Beer is delicious, I bet if I drink beer the rest of my life I'll never be said or worry about anything. Sure is better to drink beer and do coke off of a line of 100 dollar bills strategicelly placed on dead negroes than fight war. I hate war and negroes. Negroes especially. One time one of them called in to question the history of my family, he said that my family is composed of a bunch of ass kissing power hungry n'er do wells that have no real skill other than wasting people's money and covering up our inadequacies. I dunno what the hell he wuz sayin, so I shot him in his ass and told him to go fight for me in 'Nam. What a sucker.

I hope I have daughters some day. Slutty daughters, that, like their pa have no clue how to behave in public and are only good at one thing, suckin' dick. If I was a woman I would be good at that too. It would take me while to learn because daddy always said I'm slow, but i'd do it cuz I know inside I'm real smart, yet outside I pretend I'm a moron in order for people to identify themselves with me. OOOHWEEE am I tired of writing. Where's m'cocaine?

Aaaaah thats better. Well diary, I have to go away for a while, then emerge 25 years later as a natural choice to lead our country in to holy war with muslims. I expect to encounter Billy Grahm and be converted into a scared, frightened man who will use his stolen power to influence the millions into war with people who don't deserve it. Also, women are shit and shouldn't be allowed to do anything. Also, I plan to oppoint a man to head the FDA who writes that the only way to heal yourself is through prayer and devotion to our lord Jesus Christ.

Shit, Karl Rove's comin over to clean me up, cuz mom n'dad are comin.

Peace,

George W. Bush